In a recent entry about being intentional when you talk to yourself, we encouraged you to be intentional when it comes to the way you talk to yourself. After all, most of us tend to be our own worst critics—and listening to that inner chatter can damage a person’s self-esteem and worsen symptoms of mental health disorders.
In this entry, we would like to build on those ideas by diving more deeply into the idea of self-compassion. Positive self-talk is certainly a part of being compassionate toward yourself, but it is not the whole story.
Let’s start with a look at the components of self-compassion and then consider the challenges you might encounter as you try to improve your relationship to yourself.
What Does Self-Compassion Consist Of?
Here are some key components of building up your kindness to yourself.
- Talk kindly to yourself: As we have noted, we covered this concept more fully in a previous entry, but it is too important to leave out entirely here. The way you talk to yourself can be a major driver of positivity and wellbeing; it can also be a cause of worsening self-esteem and mental health. Turning an inner critic into an inner cheerleader is a key practice when it comes to self-compassion.
- Take care of yourself: Leaning into healthy practices is a wonderful way to show compassion to yourself. Eating healthily, exercising regularly, and sleeping restfully all support your physical and mental wellbeing. Sometimes, we tend to think of such things as chores or inconveniences, but they are instead ways to reinforce the idea that you are worthy of self-care.
- Commit to forgiving yourself: It is possible that you find yourself replaying past mistakes over and over in your mind. Those mistakes may have been made recently or long ago. In either case, you may feel embarrassed and have a hard time forgiving yourself. But everyone makes mistakes—and if you frame them as opportunities for learning and growth, you may find you are better able to move forward without letting mistakes weigh you down.
- Remember to acknowledge your progress: Making the decision to pursue better mental health is an important milestone—and, one hopes, the first of many. If you get in the habit of celebrating your progress (even when the “win” you celebrate is small in the scheme of things), you will be practicing kindness and compassion toward yourself.
- Be present by being mindful: While mindfulness practice is not necessarily for everyone, getting into the habit of grounding yourself in the present moment is a good step toward self-compassion. The practice can help you observe your thoughts and feelings without getting overly caught up in them.
- Set and stick to healthy boundaries: Sometimes the very best thing you can do for yourself is to say no to a project or invitation that is likely to tax your limited supply of energy. When you do so, it is important to reinforce the decision with some positive self-talk rather than letting yourself feel guilty about saying no.
What Are the Benefits Of Self-Compassion?
On the one hand, the benefits of self-compassion might seem obvious. When you are kinder to yourself, you are more likely to feel good about yourself. Arguably, that is enough of a reason to dial up the compassion and dial down the factors that undermine it.
However, research demonstrates that the benefits of self-compassion are not limited to feeling generally better about oneself. Other benefits include:
- Stress reduction: When you are kind to yourself, your levels of cortisol—the stress hormone—are reduced, which supports relaxation. An ability to relax is essential for those working to improve their mental health.
- Emotional regulation improvement: All of us have trouble processing strong emotions from time to time, but those who are kinder to themselves seem better able to do so without being overwhelmed.
- Resilience increase: Resilience is important when it comes to keeping things together in the face of setbacks and challenges. Improved resilience can underpin ongoing efforts to make improvements to your mental wellbeing.
- Positive mindset support: A positive mindset (especially when accompanied by a growth mindset) offers ongoing encouragement, hope, motivation, and optimism—even when things seem especially difficult.
Be a Friend to Yourself
You may have noticed that many of our suggestions and ideas here are similar to advice you might offer a friend who was going through a tough time. That is an important observation.
All too often, people—perhaps you yourself—treat themselves as enemies or annoyances rather than as friends. Doing so does not serve anyone well, and yet so many people have trouble thinking of themselves as their own friend. The advantages of doing so, however, are real and support better mental health.
We encourage you to commit to giving yourself the grace you would offer to a close friend. Arguably, no friend can be closer to you than you are!
We Are Here to Help
Located in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Peak View Behavioral Health provides personalized care to those struggling with a mental health disorder. You can be a friend to yourself by pursuing treatment for depression, anxiety, issues grounded in trauma, or another mental health challenge. You would encourage a close friend or family member to get help if they needed it—and your advice to yourself should be no different.
