The sitcom Friends premiered in 1994 and ran for the next decade—becoming one of the most beloved television programs of all time along the way. In addition to a great cast that viewers came to know and love, the show featured an excellent theme song by The Rembrandts.
The lyrics to the chorus of the song do a good job of defining just what it means to be a friend:
I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)
Three simple ideas come together to explain what friendship really is: Being there for someone who is struggling, being there consistently, and knowing your friend will be there for you as well.
When you are struggling with your mental health, knowing who your friends are is extremely important. It is also essential to understand who is not your friend—even among people who might say they are. Let’s take a look at the kinds of “friends” who are unlikely to be there for you when, as the Friends theme puts it, the rain starts to pour.
Friends vs. ‘Friends’ on Social Media
If you regularly use one or more social media platforms, the odds are pretty good that your personal connections include some—even many—people you consider real friends. These are folks you really know in real life and might even include people you hung out with long before social media became a thing.
But there is also a good chance that you are connected to a whole bunch of folks who are more acquaintance than friend—and in some cases, these individuals might barely rise to the level of acquaintance. These are people who “friended” you after meeting you once, or old classmates that you barely remember or people who are trying to use social media to find clients for whatever business they might be in. You have probably connected with some of these people absentmindedly or just to be polite.
Given this mix of friends and “friends,” it is important to remember that social media does not always offer up a true reflection of reality. As we have written elsewhere, social media posts are generally highlights of a person’s life—not a real reflection of the ups and downs each of us experiences. If you get caught up in comparing your life with the highlights of others you see online, you might do damage to your esteem, which in turn can have a negative impact on your mental health.
Given all of that, it can be a good practice to weed your collection of social media “friends” from time to time—just like you would weed a garden. Getting your connections down to people whom you actually know can be a good move for your mental well-being.
Friends Who Pull You Down Are Not Friends at All
Do you have someone in your social circle (maybe more than one someone) who always seems to be criticizing you or making backhanded comments that hurt your feelings? Most of us know people like that, and sometimes we convince ourselves that these individuals really are our friends.
Maybe you chalk up their constant criticism as “tough love,” or maybe you think their positive qualities outweigh the negative things they bring to the relationship. It is also possible that you acquired this type of friend because they were a friend of one of your other friends.
We would like to argue that a person who is constantly critical—or just downright mean—is not a real friend. And when it comes to protecting and improving your mental health, your best move in that situation is to limit or eliminate the amount of time you spend with such a person.
A true friend builds you up rather than tearing you down—and in your efforts to be a good friend yourself, you will do the same for them. Anyone who seems intent on treating you badly is not a friend you need to hang onto. Indeed, they are not a friend at all.
We’ll Be Here for You
Located in Colorado Springs, Colorado, Peak View Behavioral Health is committed to helping people navigate mental health challenges in positive and productive ways. We provide personalized care grounded in evidence-based practices, in our experience and expertise, and in a spirit of empathy. We understand that each individual’s story and needs are different, and so we avoid cookie-cutter solutions and focus on what a person actually needs to see improvement in their mental health and to maintain that improvement over time.
Our approach to care includes assessment, diagnosis, rapid stabilization, and ongoing support. We provide a safe place for individuals to work toward restoring balance in their lives and renewing their sense of hope for the future. At Peak View Behavioral Health, you can count on physician supervision 24 hours a day, seven days a week, as well as medication management and group therapy sessions that will remind you that you are not alone with the challenges you face.
When you are ready to make a change for the better, we’ll be here for you.
